tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post7156442078087804516..comments2023-05-12T02:43:54.466-07:00Comments on A Nickel's Worth of Common Sense: Open Adoption In Real LifeAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04552918781072146852noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-51284826843044157642010-10-05T11:26:05.253-07:002010-10-05T11:26:05.253-07:00I have used "tummy mommy". It makes all ...I have used "tummy mommy". It makes all the difference in the world for me. "Do you want to send an email to your tummy mommy?" (I've no idea where she is but I type it.) <br /><br />"What rooms do you want pictures of your tummy mommy in?" (FINALLY, I was able to meet her at court and form a rapport w/out anyone else there to interfere with 2 moms who love one child, they tried SO hard to keep us apart.) The pics go in every room he wants. Tummy mommy and sissy that he lost.<br /><br />And that adorable little voice, chirping up while we stand in the airplane aisle, to tell the lady next to us, "I have TWO mommies! My tummy mommy and THIS MOMMY!" (Very excited, bewondered-that-he-has-finally-found-this, loving emphasis on THIS MOMMY).<br /><br />Does this make sense? Tummy mommy doesn't have to be a hero, she can be sad today. Or off where we can't find her today. <br /><br />Little 4-year-olds can ask, "Would you ask her in the email, does she know how to take care of me?" I can say, "Sure! ...Have you been wondering about that lately?" And there it is (my relief from the jealous instinct): <br /><br />He knows, at 3, "No she doesn't," but he still loves her, and so do I, though being around her is full-on energy drain, and we can't do that often. We love "tummy mommy", in a unique and special way that recognizes that LittleBoy is better off here, with "THIS mommy!".<br /><br />We love her, because she allowed us to be together by creating him, no matter how much pain preceded our uniting for her, or him, or me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-80394010696225205952010-08-18T19:46:34.726-07:002010-08-18T19:46:34.726-07:00I've followed your blog for a while. Your fami...I've followed your blog for a while. Your family is so beautiful. We were contacted this week by family member who found my kids on facebook. Their maternal cousin has been very respectful and kind, but their father has promised them the moon and the stars. He hasn't seen them in 8 years. I keep trying to write some kind of note to him...but I can't think of anything nice to say. I don't mind his involvement as long as he can be respectful of the family they have now.<br /><br /> Anyway, thanks for sharing your experiences. I never imagined I'd be dealing with something so difficult so soon.S.A.M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01859517936198431266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-69339686271247768392010-08-08T04:26:50.945-07:002010-08-08T04:26:50.945-07:00Thank you for sharing these stories. What a diffic...Thank you for sharing these stories. What a difficult, complex ride you are all on. God bless.Andromeda Jazmonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12355192738014962965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-91251013773034360712010-08-04T18:16:41.541-07:002010-08-04T18:16:41.541-07:00I recently found your blog and find it such a hear...I recently found your blog and find it such a heart-warming, true look at adoption and parenting. Thank you for sharing the life of open adoption in such an honest manner.Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08435221602886675132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-71771156548758573192010-08-03T14:56:28.012-07:002010-08-03T14:56:28.012-07:00Just found your blog. This blog post was dark and ...Just found your blog. This blog post was dark and wonderful and I loved reading it!!!!!! Thanks for sharing.COME ON BABYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13508080594311805199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-33504241197162021462010-08-03T06:00:29.900-07:002010-08-03T06:00:29.900-07:00I need to thank you. Have been following your sto...I need to thank you. Have been following your story for a while and we think about our opening up to our own measure of openness. We've had sibling contact all along, and have had an initial meeting with a grandmother. It's weird when you meet a total stranger and just burst into tears.<br /><br />We're still not finalized, and the SW wants us to wait until we are for our son to have contact with grandma. But even now I know I feel better knowing more about her, and she just couldn't stop telling me how happy she was. It was worth it.Michelle, Dave & Babeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12034029825005182859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-55709602767921118082010-08-03T04:28:37.854-07:002010-08-03T04:28:37.854-07:00that is one of my biggest fears, the boys family a...that is one of my biggest fears, the boys family all lice in the area and given the circumstances which caused them to be apprhended in the first place there is little contact with them but I am always afraid that we will run into them somehwere. It is a fine line and a hard choice, I commend you for being so open and for doing it for the girls.stellarparenting.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04975942737904876508noreply@blogger.com