tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post71686905576577635..comments2023-05-12T02:43:54.466-07:00Comments on A Nickel's Worth of Common Sense: A Tough Letter to WriteAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04552918781072146852noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-1325834906637765782009-02-25T07:30:00.000-08:002009-02-25T07:30:00.000-08:00But Brad -- the issue is that it IS a consequence ...But Brad -- the issue is that it IS a consequence directly for HIS behavior. The boys were adopted because they were abused and neglected - and then for 3 years he refused to cooperate to with a case plan. Never went to a meeting, never attended a visit - he was a dealer and a user and that was more important to him AT THAT TIME. (no longer, he is clean now but in prison for the next 20 years)<BR/><BR/>Because it is NOT the boys fault in anyway - and if HE has an issue with them having a different last name, he needs to deal with that himself, not put it on the kids for them to deal with his grief. That's my point -- they shouldnt have to carry any part of the burden for him. #1) they are kids and #2) its for HIM to process. <BR/><BR/>I know its harsh, I feel horrible its harsh (the facts that is) but again, he made the choices that resulted in these consequences - no matter if he wanted them or not, he did it. (and for a myriad of reasons too - I totally get that). <BR/><BR/>But I see your point too ... ugh this is hard stuff. Thanks for commenting.<BR/><BR/>JenAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04552918781072146852noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-79886012424379080422009-02-25T07:02:00.000-08:002009-02-25T07:02:00.000-08:00Ouch to the line about "it was not their fault, or...Ouch to the line about "it was not their fault, or ours, that they were available for adoption". Because that makes it G's fault and I am not certain that particular thing needs to be said. The rest does though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-43597295336309406842009-02-23T12:44:00.000-08:002009-02-23T12:44:00.000-08:00Jen, I think your letter was absolutely valid, nec...Jen, I think your letter was absolutely valid, necessary and well written. You wrote it in a sensitive way, you were honest, and real. Hopefully Sr. can understand your boys point of view and make the changes he needs to make on their behalf.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-82022733905443194322009-02-22T20:40:00.000-08:002009-02-22T20:40:00.000-08:00Jen, I think it was a great letter.Jen, I think it was a great letter.SabrinaThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10347329403278847816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-87425626763416639322009-02-21T23:10:00.000-08:002009-02-21T23:10:00.000-08:00I think it was totally the right thing to do/say. ...I think it was totally the right thing to do/say. Morgans Bio-donor wouldn't refer to Jason as "dad" to her and even after her asking him too he wouldn't, not until I brought it up and had to quite harshly, it was the only way I could get through to him. I guess he is a wounded person seeing through things from his perspective and honestly selfishly! but you are right, the needs and protection of our kids comes first! ok I could go on and on!!Lala's worldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14888227099123265114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-20823979338801857072009-02-21T17:00:00.000-08:002009-02-21T17:00:00.000-08:00good for you, jen!it was necessary, and like you s...good for you, jen!<BR/>it was necessary, and like you said... the boys come first. They are blessed to have a mama bear like you who will always have their back!<BR/>xocbAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-79097251209443852402009-02-21T16:52:00.000-08:002009-02-21T16:52:00.000-08:00That must've been a hard letter to write! I can s...That must've been a hard letter to write! I can see why you put it off. I'm sure that Sr. has a huge amount of guilt for what he wasn't able to do for his children. I'm sure he'd like a lot of things to be different for himself, but this is the reality and I hope that the letter helps him to deal with reality and come to grips with it in a healing way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-49694669160544020982009-02-21T16:27:00.000-08:002009-02-21T16:27:00.000-08:00LOL the grammatical errors are correct in the actu...LOL the grammatical errors are correct in the actual letter ... was rushing this afternoon to put this up. :) You are just like my sister.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04552918781072146852noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-65216870930850531432009-02-21T16:23:00.000-08:002009-02-21T16:23:00.000-08:00I like it Jen...I think it is to the point in a co...I like it Jen...I think it is to the point in a common sense way which is what it needs to be. Aside from a few grammatical errors...*wink wink* you done good...your a good mom and those boys will always know that...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4137229307000660233.post-38922410322760431482009-02-21T12:26:00.000-08:002009-02-21T12:26:00.000-08:00Jen,It sounds exactly right. It's too the point, ...Jen,<BR/><BR/>It sounds exactly right. It's too the point, doesn't leave anything in question and is sensitive. I might have to hire you to write some of my hard letters.<BR/><BR/>((((HUGS))) for all of you.Andyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00918826364837237450noreply@blogger.com