Monday, April 6, 2009

Where in the World has Jen Gone?

Let's recap shall we. It might help if you read all the way to the end because the disaster that this month started out to be, it ended with quite a bang.

Wednesday March 4th - a peer calls Greg a racist slur at school. School finds out (along with Greg). Kid's girl-friend decides that if she makes up story about Greg this will get her boy-friend out of trouble.

Thursday March 5th - Girl has told friends and family that Greg pulled a knife on her at school and that is why her friend called him the racist name. Her sisters, cousins, brothers, uncles and friends show up at the school to threaten Greg and his best buddy. Oooops her little lie is now threatening my child. School does not inform us of this gang showing up at school to "get" my child. School ejects these kids from the property and tells Greg to "watch his back". No phone call home.

Monday March 9th - threats continue at school. Parents have still not been informed, nor has Greg mentioned anything. Principal decides to "deal" with situation by meetin with the girl and telling her they know she is lying so to call off her posse. Meets with Greg as well continues to tell him he is under threat and to "watch his back" but that things should be fine. Still no phone call home to parents.

Monday Night March 9th. Parents find out. Parents call principal. Parents demand action.

Tuesday March 10th. Girls, associates and friends suspended or expelled from school. Greg pulled from the high school for the day as teachers, parents and staff meet to discuss their lack of protection offered to my child and how failing to inform the parents was a huge big deal. Principal is a friend, this makes it worse as he KNOWS that we would wish to be involved.

Friday March 13th - High School put on "lock down" when a gun shows up at school. Greg is totally fine but Jen has a break down.

Friday March 13th - Thursday March 19th - We attend hockey tournaments. Eric's team wins bronze, Greg's team finishes 5th in the province at Provincials. This a great place for him to finish as our town is small.

March 20th - My dad tells us he is diagnosed with something very, very serious. We tell the boys. We cry. We scream. We fall apart. Hope seems beyond our grasp. I have one of the hardest conversations of my life. Papa. Cancer. Serious. Chemo. Papa. We hold a photo shoot that night. It seems surreal.

March 25th and 26th - I am in hospital taking tests at the final stage to be a kidney donor for my cousin. Yeah, I know I haven't mentioned that on here yet, but I was waiting to know for sure. Lots of tests, meetings etc. I have a CT Scan and a Nuclear Renal gram. Things look cautiously optimistic for a donation to happen in late May or early June.

March 27th - I and the boys return home

March 28th - My Nan dies. I feel like I cannot handle anymore. My Nan is more in my life than I can adequately describe, although I have tried. We cry. We scream. We fall apart.

April 1st - I return to Vancouver to plan funeral.

9:30 am April 2nd - My cell phone rings. Its my transplant surgeon. Something is wrong, they have found something. When can we meet. I explain I am already in Vancouver, he goes on to explain its a tumor, probably malignant. We agree to meet at 8 am the next morning.

9:33 am - Call Shel and tell him

9:35 am - Meet with my Nan's lawyer to discuss will, estate. Descend deep, deep into shock.

10:00 am Call my dad. Make him cry. My dad who hasn't shed a tear over himself cries over my news.

10:30 am Shel leaves work and decides to immediately come to Vancouver with boys.

Rest of day. Google. Cry. Shock. Call. Google. Get Scared. At that point I realize that a tumor on your kidney means you have Kidney Cancer.

8:00 am - At hospital with Shel. Run into surgeon in elevator. He looks serious. I am sweating. We meet. He utters the words "Malignant Kidney Cancer". Its small. Its manageable. I need surgery. Donation is not possible. Small chance its benign but either way it needs to come out. Chance of re-occurrence. Terminal if not discovered. Surgery in Vancouver. Need a new surgeon. Chemo? Don't know yet. Radiation? No.

Shock. No tears. Just Shock.

1:30 pm Meet with boys and have one of the hardest conversations of my life. Mommy. Cancer. Going to be ok. I have to be ok. I love you. I will be here for you. Cancer.


Saturday, April 4th. We bury my Nan. I feel. All I wanted was to feel and I felt. I was worried the shock was going to freeze my emotions, but as much as I could I was present. I greeted, I hugged, I shed tears. I smiled.

Saturday Night - I crash. Have never, ever felt so emotionally and physically exhausted in my life. Sleep. Weep. Laugh.

Sunday - Drive Home. To exhausted to think.


Monday - I let you know. I get dressed and I am heading to work. To face the first day of my real life with Cancer. Please Pray. Sometimes life feels like too much.

Being willing to be a kidney donor probably saved my life. I just dont know how to come to terms with that yet.

24 comments:

rsbg said...

Jen, You are in my prayers girl. I am in shock over all you have been through. Way more than one should have to endure. You are a strong woman. I am praying for you and all you are going through.

Vanessa said...

Jen. My prayers are with you during this dificult time!! I'm praying for you to be completely healed!! I know we don't live close, but I'm here if you ever need to chat! You can call, email etc. and I'll listen!!

Sue said...

Oh Jen, I could feel my chest getting tighter and tighter just reading about all the last month has brought. You're right. It's just too much. I look at what I know your life has held (which I realize is only a fraction) and am amazed by your perseverance. But you are still here and you made it through, another testament to your own personal strength. And you will get through this too. One minute at a time. So many prayers going out to you and the whole family. I know you are many things to many people, but right now it needs to be about you. Take care of yourselves and let those around you take care of you as well. Much love, Sue

Thandi said...

Oh my goodness.God must obviously believe you're the strongest person alive to allow all this to come crashing down on you.I may not be currently involved in adoption, but your blog has been inspiring. I pray they get rid of IT quickly and that the rest of your family heals too-physically and spiritually.

Laureen said...

wow Jen...I don't even know what to say. I'm so glad that your attempt to save a life has led to saving your own...the Lord does work in mysterious ways.
If there's anything we can do, please let us know...and I will be praying for you and your family (your dad too...)
Take care...

Anonymous said...

Oh Jen, I am so shocked over the news.You are a strong lady and you will beat the cancer.
A strong willed mind, heart and soul will get you through all this in which you all have. but remember you can't get yourself run down and you need to think about Jen and Jen's health right now. Slow things down for you!
If you ever need anything,anything at all please call me.
You are in my prayers daily.
Keep us all posted.
~HUGS~
Danielle L.

Judy said...

I am so sorry for everything you have and are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I'm sure you know I've been through my own battle with cancer, so I won't say any platitudes here. Just know that I'm here for you in spirit and in prayer. <3

- Judy/JustEnjoyHim

Patti said...

Jen,

we're praying for you all. Lots of love, Jon and Patti

Lynn said...

Hi, Jen

I'm sorry for all you're going through, and I know you and your family have the faith to get through this difficult time.

You wrote: "Being willing to be a kidney donor probably saved my life. I just don't know how to come to terms with that yet."

Jen, you have faith in God. You were willing to be a kidney donor. Those two facts are not unrelated. You were led to that kidney specialist and have been blessed with this life-saving early cancer detection.

You are in very good hands, Jen.

Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time and always.

Heather said...

Oh, Jen, I am so sorry. What an awful lot of burdens for a family to be bearing all at one time. I'll be praying for you.

Jennifer D. said...

OMG...Jen. Words fail me right now. I am in shock. You'll continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.....

Erin said...

Oh Jen :(

What a rough few weeks. I am a kidney cancer survivor (26 years and counting!), though probably a different form than yours will turn out to be.

I will be praying for you and your family.

votemom said...

i don't know what to say either. i'm really glad you let people know tho. there IS power in prayer... please update as you feel you can.

Brad said...

Thank you for sharing Jen. I hope that all our good wishes for you bolster your courage. Nobody should have to go through the kind of month you have had. May April be shiny by comparison.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear your news Jen. If it makes you feel any better, a friend of mine was dx'd with stage 4 kidney ca last year. Finished a clinical trial and so far so good. I'm thankful yours was presumably caught early. Sending positive thoughts and prayers.

-NJmom

Holly said...

When it rains, it pours. Praying you feel carried.

Deb said...

Jen-

Youa re on my prayer list. Love and hugs to you,
Deb

Sandi said...

Jen, I'm in shock over this awefull news! I will keep you in my prayers.

Heather said...

Prayers being said for you and your family right now, Jen.

((hugs))

Erin said...

Jen - I am so sorry to hear about everything that has been going on. I am praying for you. I can't imagine everything that you are dealing with right now, but please know I am here if you need to "talk." (((((hugs)))))

Lala's world said...

Oh Jen, Jason and I are praying for you and your family, we just went thru a scare with Jason, can't imagine hearing the C word for sure, we had a week of panic til they told us it was benign, I can't imagine what you are going through!
hugs and more hugs!
we love you all

Anonymous said...

Jen, I'm so sorry for all that has fallen on you and your family. You are in my thoughts.

Sugar

Shell said...

(((Jen & Family))) Wow, it was tough to read all that, can't imagine living it. Jen, you have always been there for so many people, let your loved ones be there for you at this time. You are an amazing woman. Sending up prayers for you and your family.

Shell said...

(((Jen & Family))) Wow, it was tough to read all that, can't imagine living it. Jen, you have always been there for so many people, let your loved ones be there for you at this time. You are an amazing woman. Sending up prayers for you and your family.