Sunday, January 6, 2013

All is well with my soul

There have been many hard birthdays.  You know this.

This is not a hard birthday.

This is a miracle birthday.


 \
SHE came back. My baby J.   Just for a visit.  A Miracle Visit.   2000 hugs.  A million memories.


So many years of tears.  Too many years of a broken heart.  Too many "managed" birthdays that were barely survivable.

Today I smile.  I held her. She posed in front of my Christmas Tree.  She looked through her baby book.  I held her in my arms and told her I loved her.

And I healed.

And I thanked.  It was truly a miracle beyond my wildest expectations and even if it is months or years before it happens again, TODAY she knows I love her.  That I loved her with all my heart.

And finally the scab on my heart healed over.  And the tears are tears of joy.

9 comments:

Andy Drouin said...

Yeah!

Caryn said...

This one has me tearing up. I am so thrilled for you. To know that she knows you love her...what an amazing feeling that must be. This makes me hopeful. :)

SafetyandRefuge said...

Thrilling!

Wendy said...

very beautiful post!

Anonymous said...

wow jen, this one needs elaboration!

Bron from Oz said...

So happy for you all!

Jay Iyer said...

Hi Jennifer, I have goosebumps reading all of your posts, which I found through your comments to Carrie Goldman regarding her "Portrait of an Adoption" series. I was one of the guest bloggers on that series, writing about my former foster daughter Nina (who is with us for the weekend - Yay!). So glad to read of your foster daughter visiting. Many hugs, I look forward to reading your blog.

Jay Iyer said...

Hi Jennifer, I got goosebumps reading your blog, which I found through your comments regarding Carrie Goldman's "Portrait of an Adoption" series. I was one of the guest posters on that series, writing about my former foster daughter Nina with whom we have stayed in contact. So delighted your former foster daughter came back to see you! i look forward to reading more on your blog

Karolina Maria said...

I'm so happy you got to see your little girl again! When our foster daughter was reunited with her mom, the only thing that allowed us to heal and move on was being able to see her still. I realize now that most foster parents don't have that luxury. Even with seeing her afterwards and staying in touch, it was too hard for me to agree to foster again. The only way to foster right is to have your heart broken. Big hugs for letting your heart be broken so this little girl would have a place to call home while she was with you.