Friday, June 12, 2009

Expanding Family

It's become my responsibility, one way or the other (mostly because I am a big softie!), to supervise visits between the girls and their parents. We are meeting at the park, or their home, and eventually even our home, for 2 hour visits three times a week.

I won't beat around the bush and just admit it's ALOT. Not only alot to adjust my personal schedule, but the girl's schedules to accommodate a visit out of the house, packing food, diapers, toys and racing around to meet a deadline. Shel has been away these last several days and the visits, the baby packing and planning all fall on me. I have had moments of resentment because no doubt after juggling middle of the night feedings, I have to interrupt nap times, or time to do house work or heck even sit for 10 minutes with my feet up to go down to the park to meet up with parents who, no doubt, aren't going to win parenting awards anytime soon.

That's the human side of me.

The other side of me realizes that this is the best thing for the girls. Miss Curious (more aptly named Dennis the MENACE) needs work to become attached and we are working on that. Its healthier for her to maintain the attachment she has with her parents, and its healthier on her to see us being friendly and working together as she attaches to me. Miss Tiny will only know them if she sees them regularly, and its important that she know and trust them when she goes back home because she is going to miss us, no doubt.

Going back home is inevitable, that I know. And I want this to be the least traumatic experience that I can manage.

And so I make sure the parents like me. I provide pictures of the girls at every visit. EVERY VISIT. I bring food. I move our schedule around to accommodate theirs. I travelled out of town to visit at their traditional family home despite it being in a location that is far outside my comfort zone. I invited them to our home to show them that I trust them.

Today our visit happened to be at the same time and location as Tanner had a field trip. He bounded over to greet the girls, and meet their parents for the first time. They watched as he snuggled both and played with Miss Curious. Later, after he rejoined his friends, the girls mom turned to me and said, "I'd like it if we could stay in contact after the girls come back to us".

And that makes it worth it to me.


Tudu said...

I am so glad things are going so well. It would be great if you could maintain a relationship with them.

birthmothertalks said...

Your doing a wonderful thing for the girls and their family.

dinnae said...

That is awesome Jen, just awesome! And you are the model of perfect foster mum for what you do, and I've met a few!

kristie said...

you sent shivers down my spine with that one

Anonymous said...

Hugs Jen! You are a totally awesome, courageous, and just cool chica!

Anonymous said...

simply incredible.