Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Ever Boring Normal

We wake up.  We have coffee (well the grownups anyways).  We eat breakfast.  We get dressed.  We play outside.  We go to preschool.  We eat lunch.  We have naps (well the kids do).   We play some more.  We eat supper.  We have a bath.  We go to bed. 

My days are the same as they have always been yet I breathe.  I laugh.  I honestly do not know what to do with myself.  With all my free time.  With all my energy.

I do not have to email social workers anymore.

I do not have to write daily notes about what the girls do or who we talk to.

I do not have to lie awake endlessly worrying about the what-ifs. 

I had no idea how much energy stress and worry was robbing from me.  It had been a very, very hard year.  And on May 6th when the girls became "ours" the emotions still rang sharp.  The next day I felt more relaxed.  I felt myself smile a little bit more.  The next day, and every day for the next week this just increased.  Until finally I remembered what normal felt like.

Then I was exhausted because once my body relaxed it needed to recuperate. 

And now?  I am learning to live with normal. 

Well as normal as a stay at home mother of six kids can be! 

9 comments:

Momof3 said...

I remember that feeling. The weirdness of not having to ask if we could plan a trip somewhere. The idea that we could just let the kids go somewhere overnight without worrying about background checks.

No more court dates, social workers, and on and on and on.

Patty said...

YAY! So thankful for healing, relief, & FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

until hockey season that is!


your swister.

Di said...

Normal is good, though I have yet to figure out what normal is for this house. You deserve a whole heap of normal, bring it on, lap it up Jen, put your feet up. We all know that soon again you will be running in who knows what direction of "the new normal"

birthmothertalks said...

I am happy that your life is normal again. Six kids is a lot and it's a wonder you have any energy left. :)

ndn said...

It's wonderful, isn't it. The first thing I did was destroy the file full of receipts that I had to keep in order to prove that we were spending her money on her. It's amazing how much of a relief you feel.

Shari said...

way to go...we've had 2 years of freedom...that's what it feels like to me...hurray!!!for you...just live & love & be happy...I can "hear" you are.

Moonspun said...

I bet the every boring normal is blisfull and very exciting!

bigfatmama said...

Congratulations on finding your new normal! God Bless!