We wake up. We have coffee (well the grownups anyways). We eat breakfast. We get dressed. We play outside. We go to preschool. We eat lunch. We have naps (well the kids do). We play some more. We eat supper. We have a bath. We go to bed.
My days are the same as they have always been yet I breathe. I laugh. I honestly do not know what to do with myself. With all my free time. With all my energy.
I do not have to email social workers anymore.
I do not have to write daily notes about what the girls do or who we talk to.
I do not have to lie awake endlessly worrying about the what-ifs.
I had no idea how much energy stress and worry was robbing from me. It had been a very, very hard year. And on May 6th when the girls became "ours" the emotions still rang sharp. The next day I felt more relaxed. I felt myself smile a little bit more. The next day, and every day for the next week this just increased. Until finally I remembered what normal felt like.
Then I was exhausted because once my body relaxed it needed to recuperate.
And now? I am learning to live with normal.
Well as normal as a stay at home mother of six kids can be!