Friday, April 15, 2011

99% Mom 1% Jen

That's where I am at.

I know it's not healthy.

I know it's not wise.

I just have no idea what to do about it.

I am sick and tired and keep getting sicker.  Life is crazy and busy and never, ever ends.  I am parenting 24 hours a day seven days a week.  If it's not teenage angst at midnight, it's a toddler who doesn't yet know how to sleep through the night and starts her day at 2:00 am.

I have kids at the most selfish extremes of their lives.  Teenagers and Toddlers.  They  suck every scrap of self out of me, and give very little back.

We have had 5 birthdays in 3 months.  I am homeschooling two now.  I am dealing with therapists and evaluations and hormones and parent contact and regression and just general busy insanity that is life with 6 kids.

And I am tired.  But there is no time to be tired because I have to host a birthday party for a bunch of teenagers today, and drive another teenager to another city so he can play hockey, while juggling 2 toddlers to do it.  Tomorrow is the same.  And then the day after that, MORE of the same.

Monday the cycle starts all over again.


Andy said...

Hang in there Jen! {{{HUGS}}} and squeeze every ounce out of your 1% that you can!

Michelle, Dave & Babes said...

Oh Jen, I've only got three (with a fourth on the way), and I feel like this some days. I just minus the homeschool and add in a full time job.

You probably know the standard response: Find time for yourself, outsource what you can (cleaning, driving around, laundry - I want to hire a teenager this summer to help). Find little moments of you time. Leave the kids with your husband, and sneak out in the evening when the kids are in bed for coffee with friends. Or hide at your mom's place for a nap (not that I've ever done that). But even knowing it, it's so hard to do!!

robyncalgary said...

i have 1/3 the children you do and ABSOLUTELY identify with the title of your post. 1% robyn. robyn? who's that? sometimes i try to remind my 7 year old that my first name isnt actually mommy. she doesnt believe me.

thinking of you <3 youre amazing. and just think of all the grandbabies one day! and maybe youll be an NHL mom! and you can always think back and remind them HEY i was 99% mom for YEARS (ever?), you best be buying a house with a grandparents suite, no nursing home for me thank you very much <3 lol

Caryn said...

Oh Jen, I hear ya! And definitely agree that parenting toddlers and teens at the same time is exhausting! A couple of weeks ago I picked C up for a psychologist appt and when she asked me where we were going I couldn't remember her name. We've been going there over a year. I went through all my memory tricks and finally came up with her first name, but ended up having to look in my planner to figure out her last. Did I mention we've been going to her for a year!

I have a friend who is working with E for a college class project and I sat down and wrote a list of everything we're working with her on right now and there were 21 items on there. Seriously. Plus, four more kids worth of stuff, including the teen who for being such an easy toddler is making up for it now! I chose not to think about it all directly, because I'd have to sit here and cry. I don't know what I'm going to do when the five littles hit their teen years all at the same time.

As for me, at this point my immune system appears to be on hiatus. I have a nasty strain of strep that hit so hard and fast I've been forced to go to bed for two days. I can finally move, yet am far from better. This is the third time I've been on antibiotics since the beginning of the year. I know I need to make me a bigger priority, but I can't figure out how!

Anyway, sorry to rant in your space. Just know that you have both my understanding and sympathy

GB's Mom said...

Sounds very tiring. You are the only one who can give Jen more than 1%. {{{Hugs}}}

Sharla said...

Oh Jen...I feel for you. It feels like some months in my life, I forget that there even is a me and then I pay for it afterwards when I just completely burn out. And then there seems to be a week that happens suddenly, usually in the Spring or Summer, where the activities stop for a period and the kids can play outside for short periods of time and I can actually read a book or go pee alone in the bathroom and it feels like bliss! Hoping you get your moment of bliss very soon!!!

(you are so right though that you are dealing with 2 very difficult stages that don't necessarily work well together either)

Amanda said...

Your kids need a mom who is healthy both physically and emotionally... is there something you can do to regain your sense of self for at least a couple of hours at night one night??? Do you need a date night with your hubby? Do you need someone to come and watch your kids for an overnight so you can regroup? I hope it all works out, I would hate for you to completely wear out to where you are down for the count for good...

Anonymous said...

Is your husband doing his fair share?

Unknown said...

Thanks everyone for the thoughts, ideas and support. Life is just what it is right now and there aren't alot of spare dollars or spare hours in the day to do anything about it. We have just come out of the girls' having a 6 stomach flu (along with the rest of us) and then we all got this bronchial death cough and in the middle of that we have STUFF going on.

And yes, my husband does his fair share. We are ALL doing our best. It's just tiring :) This too shall pass.

Monica said...

Sending love.

We just started homeschool too and it's exhausting, and I only have one in grade K. Good luck with that.