Friday, May 21, 2010

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

Tanner and Caden have lived a life without much loss.  Their hearts open wide easily and without reservation to everyone.  Tanner wishes for a family with twelve brothers and sisters, Caden approaches social workers on his own and asks them to place more children with us.  "A brother next" he says, "just don't tell mom, she will say no". Their joy and enthusiasm at the girls arrival knew no bounds and I was confident that they would love the babies with all their hearts.   And they did.  Easily, quickly and still.


Greg remembered the loss of before.  He remembered his mom crying on the couch, and the dark cloud that
descended over our family.  In only the way a 15 year old can see the world, he has no tolerance for those that put their children's needs behind their addiction.  He was scared. Scared of the unknown, scared of being hurt.  Scared to love.  It took him three, maybe four, days to risk his heart but when he did the rewards were enormous.  Jayde, our tiny attachment destroyed baby clung to him. 


Her big brother that looked different than anyone else in her world that had ever failed her.  He was safe and gentle and loving.  And she cracked her heart open for him.   This big brother that would pick her up when he got home from school and kiss her good morning when everyone else merited a teenage grunt.  Oh how she loved him first and she loved him fiercely.   And today, as her heart has grown to love everyone in her family, her Greggie calling to her with a "How's My Pebbles?" sends her scampering for a hug.  



Eric protested, as he does every change, that he was unwilling to cope or compromise and he certainly would never love another child.  Ever. Or you know, until dinner. 


In Taya Eric has found a soul sister and in Eric, Taya found her best friend and most committed playmate.  She is a mirror reflection of his intense, curious, strong willed and dynamic self.  They could not be more alike and in parenting this precious Taya I catch a glimpse of the baby that was Eric.  The baby I never knew.   


Without a doubt, Eric adores both girls,  but in Taya - in her struggles for control and attempts at understanding, and dismantling,  her world with its limits and boundaries, and our struggles to parent another dynamo on two legs without pulling our hair out- he sees his protege.  And they are inseparable.  My two who feel like twenty, love.

 


8 comments:

J. said...

that is beautiful, the story of these girls and your family continues to briing me such hope.

Patty said...

I am LOVING, LOVING, LOVING your joy! It is so wonderful & fun & right to finally hear all about ALL your precious children.

Judy said...

This is just beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Di said...

Blessed! Blessed! Blessed! On both sides of this coin! Loved this, love the photos. Love all your hearts

robyn said...

i love this post <3 and all the pictures of all your children together, so sweet, so perfect. what a happy beginning to a new story in your life

ManyBlessings said...

Having these girls HAS to be healing for your boys on so many levels. Amazing how God knits the broken pieces into something beautiful.

Lala's world said...

just beautifully written!

Kendry's mummy #1 said...

Jen, one of the things that I love the most about your family is the way the boys and the men in your family build such strong relationships with small children. It bothers me that fears of abuse have separated men and boys from small children in really unhealthy ways. Tanner and Caden and Shelby and Eric and Greg make MY heart crack wide open. Girl, your family is doing a lot of things right. I adore all of you. Ann