First off, a HUGE thank you to those who are flooding my in box with messages. Thank you. I am trying to reply to them all, but if I have missed you, I am very, very sorry. But I am so thankful. SO very thankful.
To those that would be texting me, apparently there is a problem with my home network and this network in Jefferson City not being compatable. I have not received a text since Monday afternoon. I think i might receive a flood when I get back to St. Louis tomorrow.
For those of you that would maybe handle things differently, or dont understand my feelings, or whatever reading this make you feel, I still want to thank you for reading and for not attacking me as a person or as a mom. I am trying to write this unfiltered to the best of my ability. I know all my feelings aren't pretty and I know that maybe there are somethings I could have done differently, but trust me when I say I am trying to do my very best FOR GREG, noone else. And I am trying to be as honest as possible in here. This is his story, and he will own it and its him I answer to.
To the rest of you, particularly those that pray, I would appreciate some today at Noon central time.
Greg and I are taking L, his mother, out for lunch alone. We asked for no other kids, no other relatives. This is her chance to make things better. We talked last night after I finished posting and he simply said "I dont think she will say anything important".
I dont either, but we can hope for a miracle.
Afterwards we are meeting Addie for a visit. She will check Greg out for you all and I am sure report back as to whether or not I have screwed up my kiddo royally ;) Actually, in all honesty, the support from you all, my friends and cyber family, has been priceless through this all.
My family - they just want me to protect Greg, without realizing that there is value in this process as well.
My friends - in the non-adoption related world, just dont get it.
You guys at least understand the depths of complication. AND SO I THANK YOU!