Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Thank God those Genes Are Not MINE!

Some pre-adoptive parents bemoan and grieve the fact that their to-be-adopted child will not look like them, or inherit their genes.  The desire to be "replicated" in a little mini-me I suppose is normal and not really a bad thing, but it is NOT something that I desired at all. 

I look at Greg and Eric who are in the midst of what are SUPPOSED to be those horrid "awkward" years and realize that somehow, someway they are completely missing that phase.  I think that they just thank God that they were not inflicted with either then genes of myself or my husband. 

This is me at fifteen. 

 After this came the big bang phase.  I will spare you the torture.   Shel at fifteen was 6 feet 4 inches tall and 155 pounds.  Because I value my marriage, I won't post those pictures.

This is my son at 15. 

This is my son at 14.

At fourteen I was chubby, had thick, huge glasses and long, stringy hair.  It's almost not fair. 

It's almost not fair because these two boys have two brothers that have inherited our genes and they are on the brink of the same awkward period that I had to go through.  Don't get me wrong, both are beautiful and loved, and will turn into beautiful and loved adults but today Tanner is 5 foot 9 inches tall at 12 years old and weighs 102 pounds soaking wet.  He turns sideways and disappears and his bony shoulder blades could cut glass.  Everyone, everywhere comments on how tall he is.  And then how thin he is.  He is his father's son.  Caden's teeth are mine, all mine, and an orthodontist's dream come true. 

Some how I do believe that adding to the family gene pool can only be a good thing.

*** please know that this is only half serious.  All my 6 kids are beautiful and loved ... I just laughed out loud when reading a thread on an adoption forum where a mom was whining about the fact that her child might not look like her.  I am thoroughly in the THANK THE LORD category when it comes to some of my kids' avoiding the more difficult aspects of my genetic pool ***


Patty said...

I really like this post. I "get it". It's a lot of fun to see all the different genetics in our family, as our kids are growing up.

Kate said...

You are so right - all your kids are beautiful. But I hear you on not having my daughter look like I did between the ages of 14 and 22...ugh. She'll have her own issues (she's a long, long baby with very tall - but gorgeous - birthparents). But tall beats the heck out what I looked like as a teen. I never got the "my kid must look something like me" obsession - like I'm so damn spectacular! Why can't she look like herself?

Regina said...

Jen I get exactly what you mean. I look at my beautiful little man (the nickname he hates:"Handsome" - like I'll ever stop calling him that) and think thank God you're not me at that age - chubby, shy, awful Sears plastic rim eyeglasses and goofy hair.


Lily Miller said...

OMG, you have some handsome boys!! I totally get you about the genes... But the teenage looks isn't even the worst part in my case. Both me and my husband have Bipolar, Alcoholism, Chronic Depression and other psychiatric disorders in our families so we decided not to continue passing the genes along and adopt instead. Everybody say that our daughter looks just like me (we've adopted her from Brazil) and my best friend hates it because she had a biological one who doesn't look a thing like the parents (she came out a real mix between the two!), but next I plan on adopting an Asian child so let's see how that goes...

Tudu said...

We laugh about it all the time. My husband is 6'5" and 300 LBS. He has a head that can't wear any hats and I am so thankful I will not have to deliver that head. Neither of us are anything that needed to be reproduced.