Loss, abuse, grief, death, fear and pain are simply concepts. Words. And in the typical way of children their age, they can't even fathom with any sense of realism what it must be like to experience any of it. The story of their brothers' lives is simply that - A STORY.And no matter how much they are surrounded by adoption, their own life experience is vastly different than that of their brothers, their cousins and their friends. They are white kids born to white parents in middle class suburbia whose greatest worry in life is whether or not they will get a new bike for Christmas.
But with age comes maturity. And maturity comes understanding. Tanner has spent this past year coming to terms, processing and coping with what it means to have a brother with special needs, especially when those special needs affect YOU. All day, every day. Grieving his own losses that are the indirect consequences, not only of our decision to adopt but also of the damage abuse did to his brothers.