Saturday, September 6, 2008

When Family and Blogging Collide

I have some posts written, and on hold, as I try to find the words to write here. Adoption Diary posts to come, as soon as I get this out of the way.

Ok, so yes, I realize I have readers.

And the majority of those readers don't know me in real life.

And more importantly you don't know my extended family in real life.

You don't talk with my dad, or run into my mom, chat with my sister, visit my grandparents, or see my very large arrangement of aunts, uncles and cousins at family functions. You don't visit with Shel's side or pass on messages to his parents.

But some of you do.

It's to you, my much loved family, that I address this post. First off, thank you for reading. For having an interest in my family, and by extension a small part of your family, and our lives, our adoption journey and of course, my sons.

Secondly, there is a certain safety in sharing deep parts of your heart and journey with strangers. Strangers who aren't going to recount your story to anyone that is affected by it. Its scary sharing when you know that some of your story may make its way back to people you love and cause them pain.

I have a wonderful, large extended family of whom I am very proud to be a part of. We are found in every corner of this province, and really across the continent. We have an incredible history in Canada that goes back centuries on both sides. And they love me, and I love them. We are part of each other.

So, to my family and close friends that read this little blog, and especially the Adoption Diary posts to come, I ask for your understanding. I will be sharing my heart, my story and mostly MY PERSPECTIVE. Please don't think I am discounting other perspectives of this portion of my life, but this is my time to share. I am not ashamed of what I write, but I also don't want it turned into fodder for family gossip.

I am happy to share with people who chose to READ here but the quandary comes when our story is shared and passed along with those that have chosen not to. Parts of my blog have come back to me, and not once but now many times, through the family grapevine.

The story has changed, been distorted and altered to the point of being completely false.

Our parents know about this blog, but they choose, for whatever reasons, not to read it. Heck they are our PARENTS, what do they need a blog to know whats going on in our lives for?

However, now we have gotten panicked phone calls from 3 out of 4 of our parents in the last month because someone took portions of the information I post here and passed it on to another loved one, and someone else passed it on, and then again someone else passed it on until it made its way back to us as a completely different story. Often much worse. Often more serious. Often scary.

The parents have been informed - if its important, we will tell you ourselves. Don't worry, no pertinent information on the kids or our family is put here without first being shared with those that need to know.

So dear family members, I am glad you read. I am glad parts of my story, our story, has touched you to the point that you have wanted to share it with others. But be aware in the very normal family way that these stories, when shared, morph and change.

If you have a question, ask me. If you have a different perspective, tell me. If you don't understand what I have written, or will write, in the days ahead, check in with me. But PLEASE don't ask my dad, or call Shel's mom, or email cousin so and so who hasn't seen me in two decades to ask what she thinks. And actually, its none of my READERS that have done this ... its everyone else that hears about the life I share on the blog that seems to.

I hope you understand the spirit in which I write this. Its with love, humor, gratitude and a bit of fear that anything I write here can hurt those I cherish.

Enjoy your weekend. I sure am!

No comments: