Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Marriage Advice for Men

Dear Men and Boys; (of course this isn't addressing anyone in the Common Sense family - they are all PERFECT - and would NEVER not buy a gift or a card or completely ignore my birthday)

If the significant woman in your life says she "doesn't want a big deal" made out of her birthday that is NOT a hint to ignore it completely.

Lesson #1 - Buy a card. Make a card. Write a letter. Yes Hallmark is an extortionist organization BUT WOMEN DON'T CARE. Make some effort. Show some interest. Let her know she is worth it. Even if it's cold outside. Even if you are busy. Even if you don't think its all that important. She does.

Lesson #2 - If she gives you EXPRESS INSTRUCTIONS about what she would like, FOLLOW THEM. You've been complaining for years that women want you to read their minds so if she takes the time to actually TELL YOU what she wants clearly, and the reasons she wants it, its probably important. Screwing up with this is pretty lame.

Lesson #3 - If you screw up. APOLOGIZE. Do not blame aliens, the weather, the play of the Boston Red Sox or WORSE - HER. Ever.

Of course, none of this applies to my life. The fact that apparently my birthday is now being celebrated on January 8th has NOTHING to do with the above.

Word to the wise -- if you marry a baby of a family, expect training.


Anonymous said...

My twins were 5 weeks old on Mothers Day this year. I was tired, breastfeeding, up all hours of the night, recovering from a c-section... and my husband thought Mothers Day was on a Monday. Since he "forgot" about it, he scrapped the whole thing and I got nothing for my FIRST Mothers Day. And he's the oldest child in the family... what's his excuse??? :)

Anonymous said...

I hear ya, Jen - the boys and Mindy totally remembered and recognized my birthday, as they always do, but the husband and Alpha Male in this household? Not so much... granted he was working THAT day, and we had our vehicle problems, etc.... but.... my birthday has been the same date every year... surely he knew it was gonna come around again THIS year too, and could have prepared for it??? Not like I'd ask him to bake me a cake or anything (for all of our safety). I know what - maybe we're getting something really, REALLY GOOD, and it's just on backorder? Stuck in the log-jam of holiday parcels? Arriving by dog sled?? (Pulled by JRT's)?? Yeah, that's it!! Whew...

Lala's world said...

Happy Birthday! hope you had a great day!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for that public service announcement. I am printing it out and leaving it in prominent places (i.e. taped to the TV screen) for advisement. I share your pain in this regard. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, and if you marry the SUN forget training. Just hire some cleaning help in if you can and practice ignoring it. They are completely un-trainable. :)