Thursday, September 24, 2009

Full Disclosure

I figure since so many of you are now co-owners of our dog (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU) I should probably fill you in on her quirks.

Because, yes, although she has been a Godsend for Eric she does have her, shall we say, excentricities. Those quirks include things that have caused our neighbours to swear, throw things at her and generally despise all things Jack Russell.

Actually, I am pretty sure I despise all things Jack Russell too. Do not get me wrong, I LOVE Annie, but they aren't exactly high on the list of "ideal pets for busy moms". And I have two.

Annie was a rescue dog. Coming to us via 2 previous families that both found her "quirks" too difficult to handle. She bit, growled and generally bossed around small children. She tried to eat the mail man. She scaled fences wtih the agility of a squirrel. She barked incessently when we were not home, and ate the inside of our vehicle when we took her with us.

Kennel? Oh kennel. Yes. Horrifying memories of trying to cage a dog who would not be caged. Lets simply say that every time a kennel came into view, her bowels would explode. She actually ate through a plastic kennel once, slicing her neck up in the process. The metal ones? Destroying that was child's play.

She has, with much work and some medication, turned into a great little dog. I mean, she will still try to eat you alive if you come to the front door unless you are family, and even then if you have a new haircut or are wearing a different coat than the one you left the house in, she reserves the right to bark loud enough to raise the dead, BUT she is a good little pup and much loved.

Then of course, we got Trip-Pee (aka the Bad Decision of 2009). Trip is free to a good home. Trip is free to a half decent home. Trip is simply FREE. Come get him. Be warned, he pees twice his body weight every day. Most of that indoors. His brain has atrophied from lack of use, and his only passion is BALL!BALL!BALL!BALL!BALL!BALL! I had hope with Annie that one day all that work would be worth it. With Trip-Pee? I just see 14 more years of paper towels and lysol wipes.

I talked to the vet today and scheduled Annie's surgery for Tuesday afternoon (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU). I requested a two for one deal where we could do a brain transplant on one dog and fix the other's leg. Strangely, the vet declined. Let's just say, if Trip-Pee breaks a leg, I won't be announcing my grief publically.


Unknown said...

*** To be clear, lots of snark in this post. Trip probably doesnt pee TWICE his body weight. Close though ***

Unknown said...

Sorry, we have our own version of Trip in the form of a sh*tzoo( i know the spelling is wrong, but really this version makes more sense)and we did fork out a vet bill. Sometimes i wonder what i am doing!

Jenny said...

Snark away..... I don't think I can be that kind in describing Pepsi.

Still, glad to hear Annie is getting her surgery. Hope she recovers fast. :)

Sandy said...

I really want to help with the surgery costs but couldn't get the paypal button to work. If you email me your address I will send a cheque for Annie and Eric.

Lola said...

Oh, I've got a terrier, so I understand the stubborn little rascals. I also know vet bills more than you can imagine, so I hope the surgery goes well. I sent in my donation so your son can keep his best friend in tip-top shape ;)

Do yourself a favor and get the tanquilizers. My terrier is now jumping up on the couch and launching herself off of it two days post-surgery once her pain meds kicked in. Before the meds kicked in, she was all drama, acting like she was dying. Now, she's a maniac with a cone on her head!!

I'm here via Coco, btw. Good luck!

Regina said...

LOL. Our Trip-Pee is Princess the Poo Poo kitty. As in poo-poo everywhere kitty. She is driving me insane. I want to know if they sell Simple Solution in sizes larger than a gallon. So, I relate.