Thursday, July 17, 2008

Monday Morning

Monday morning dawns. I am the first one awake in the house. Tense. Excited. Nervous.
Its a long drive. We are meeting in the hotel parking lot at 12:40.

Greg and I snap at each other most of the drive. He tells me he isnt nervous and "I dont know" is his answer to every question. He's not smiling though. Nothing cracks a grin.

I dont know how to support him. He isnt letting me in right now. He's shut down and shut in. I dont know what he's thinking. Heck, I dont know what I am thinking.

Feels like too much to be doing alone. We need support. I am craving a friend. My husband? Anyone. I feel alone. I am sure Greg feels alone too.

We arrive at the hotel. 3 minutes late.

They aren't there.

Greg and I fight over whether or not we should be bringing our luggage into the hotel to check in yet. He wants to, I dont. We both need a washroom.

As we walk into the hotel Aunt arrives. She has 2 of her sons with her.

She drives right up to us and hops out. Gives me a hug, gives Greg a hug. She tells me that L is a wreck. Terrified & emotional. And will be arriving shortly.

We watch their car drive into the parking lot. We watch it park away from us. Noone gets out.
Greg and I stand awkwardly in the parking lot. I grab him and we walk towards the car.
L and her mother are sitting in the front. Both are sobbing hysterically. Neither will get out.
Grandma does. She grabs Greg. Hugs him. Sobbing. She wont look at me or agknowledge me.

Greg and I walk over to L's side of the car. We wait.

She gets out and grabs Greg in a hug. She is bawling.
She turns to me. We hug for a long, long time. I whisper in her ear that its ok. He's here now. It will be ok.

We meet the boys' big brother. Its like staring at a 6 foot tall version of Eric. I am baffled. I imagine that its got to be a similar sensation to meeting a birth relative and seeing that familiar resemblance because HOLY FREAKING STRANGE to see a version of your child walking around that's not your child. By the end of today, Brother and I are buddies. Gonna love that kiddo, no doubt about it.

The rest of the introductions are a bit awkward. Lots of staring at Greg and making polite conversation.

L, Brother, Greg and I drive to the restaurant together. Greg does not say a word. L and I make small talk. She is calmer by now. I ask how I can help her mom. She saids there is no helping her mom :) and it will just take time. Grandma obviously has issues with me. Gonna be a long day. I am feeling it in my bones.

And my phone dies. I NEED texting to communicate with Shelby. I know he is freaking out because the last text that went through we were driving into the parking lot. And now. Silence.

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